the cruel bride

"Josie! Teddy and I just got engaged! I just HAD to call you first...oooh! I'm so excited!"
"Wow, Mandy! That's awesome! Oh my God, I am so happy for you two! YAY!"
"Oh Josie! I want you to be my maid of honor! I love you! Oh my God!"



Now, perhaps this is what the bride would pick out when she finds out that:
a) Josie and Teddy lost their virginity to each other and never told her.
b) Josie just got a modeling contract.
c) Josie is dating the bride's recently divorced father.
d) All of the above.

Do you like the appealing color? I like to call "fresh carpet beige." Do you like the pockets? Handy for hiding that ice pick, hmm? I like both of those, but what I like best is the bolero jacket. That's right, it's a short-sleeved bolero jacket. From what 80s hell did this designer emerge? I hope that we none of us ever find out. And to be fair, there are some dresses worth serious consideration on the website where this came from, which is half of why I was so startled by it. Seriously, check out the look on her face. If that doesn't say, "Bitch, I'll claw your eyes out and feed them to my cat for this," I don't know what does.